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Hetero-monogo-binar-illa-normativity and… Cookie Dough

If Unwrapping Identity is as Simple as Inventing a New Flavor of Ice Cream, Maybe Being Queer is Just Being Human? -Also appears here at elephantjournal.org.  Check it out! –In 1980, Adrienne Rich...

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I Was “Leaning Out” of My Career Before it Even Began

Why was I sacrificing for motherhood before I even decided I wanted children? After working his ass off to land a job in “big law,” my husband left his firm after less than two years.  He explained to...

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Did My Two Year-Old Just Come Out to Me?

Two year old art work brought home from school this week - colors of the bisexual flag in a queer triangle formation - hmmmm? Early sign of bisexuality on my son’s part, or mom with queer on the brain?...

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40 Things I’ll Teach My Kids About Sex

There's way more to talk about than these guys! A follow-up to my “Sex Talk” Way Outside the Box post, originally appears here at elephantjournal.com. 1. Monogamy is just one way of doing things, it’s...

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Eat Mangoes Naked – On Becoming Myself… Again

View from Table Mountain, Cape Town, South Africa In some ways this post is a follow-up to Where’s My Parachute:  Lessons in Love and Loss, my mini-autobiography. In college, a female mentor introduced...

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Am I Queer Enough? Who Decides?

Since I began coming out to people as both queer and pansexual almost two years ago, I have only gotten two negative reactions.  (Sadly this was true a few months ago when I wrote this post, gotten a...

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Defense of Gender Act Goes Down, But We’re All Still Missing the Point!!

Most people believe the current gay marriage debate is about whether gay people can legally marry.  In actuality, nowhere in the US does sexual orientation have any bearing on marriage legality.  A...

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Lyla Cicero… Feminist, Sexpert, Divorcee

All questions, no answers... “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”  George Bernard Shaw I used to think life was about accumulating answers.  The more you learn about...

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On Divorcing a Feminist

Trigger Warning for Unadulterated Bitterness On a humid summer day, and old friend and sit in a restaurant balling our eyes out, tears streaming down into little bowls of wasabi, as our sushi sits...

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The Questions I’d Really Like to Ask on First Dates

1)Do you have mommy issues? 2)What’s the worst thing your last partner would say about you? 3)What is your STD status? 4)Are you in therapy? 5)If so, how concerned is your therapist that you are dating...

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